B is for Baby Teeth (Gummi)

Gummi teeth and baby gummy teeth

2016-03-31 11.28.23

This I do not understand at all. Let me count the ways:

  1. Have we run out of ideas? Are there no other shapes or objects left that we could possibly use to form sugar into candy? Next to these were jars of gummi army men and gummi brains. Why teeth?
  2. This implies that there is a demand for candy shaped like teeth. Who wants to eat gummi teeth? Whose fantasy was it to consume candy in the shape of the very thing that we need to chew our food into swallowable pieces?
  3. And who, what fellow human being, decided that baby teeth shapes might be a good idea to create for other humans to eat. Who was it that said, “You know what would be even better, is if we could eat teeth that were even smaller. Yesssss, the most delicate and tender of teeth. Bring me the baby teeth gummis!”
  4. And not only did someone have these thoughts, he or she shared them with others. Baby teeth-shaped candy doesn’t grow on store shelves. It had to be designed, a recipe was created, machinery was designed and created for manufacture, it is produced on some kind of schedule, we can assume the product is quality control checked, packaging was designed, the candy is shipped, sales of it are tracked, and, perhaps most mind-blowingly of all, it is eventually purchased at the consumer level. That’s a hell of a lot of people responsible for the existence of this stuff.
  5. The irony is that the sticky, sugary candy will obliterate the thing it was made to represent. Score 1 for the candy. With each chomp and chaw of your gnashing teeth, the gummi gets smaller and more stuck in between each one, spreading its sugary destructive power, and in time, there will be nothing left but the dentist bills. What is the sound of gummi teeth laughing?

If that’s it, if that’s the joke, I’m obviously not getting it. But, if you couldn’t already tell, I’m not a big fan of gummi candy, anyway. Or any kind of candy, really. I prefer chocolate. And no, I don’t see the appeal in eating chocolate shaped like teeth–baby or otherwise.

***

I’m participating in the A to Z Challenge for the month of April. The idea is to post every day, except Sundays, and end up with one post for each letter of the alphabet. It’s a good challenge to help me to blog every day.

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38 thoughts on “B is for Baby Teeth (Gummi)”

    1. That’s funny, Leanne. I’ve never come across candy teeth before. But again, I really don’t eat a lot of candy so that’s not to suggest that these are new. I usually head straight for the chocolate and bypass the sugary stuff πŸ™‚

      1. when I was little they were more money than other lollies, so they were a prize, you really had to like them. We used to get them with our mixed lollies. Those days are long gone now. Kids today can’t do that.

        1. Heehee so they were like the “top shelf” lollies? I guess I can imagine being a kid and thinking it’s fun to pretend you have false teeth… And then eat them when you’re done pretending lol

        1. Ewwwww was my reaction, too, when I saw them in the store haha! But I’ve had a couple people say they used to love these as kids, so I guess it’s a fond memory for some. For me, kind of an off-putting discovery, but hey, different strokes for different folks!

    1. Hahahaha oh my goodness, I am so glad that you realized they were candy! I do NOT have a teeth collection lol. Frankly, I’m struggling to understand why these candies exist….

  1. Looks to me more like gummie dentures in sizes L and S….. maybe that’s the point? LOL… still, just weird.

    1. I’ve never seen them before either, but a few people commented that they used to eat these as kids. I guess as a kid they seem fun, but as a grumpy old adult, I don’t get it πŸ˜‰

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